Does This Smell Okay To You?

September 6, 2006

Lifted directly from’s article, “Does This Smell Okay to You?“:

Here is a collection … on how to tell if your food is spoiled.

  1. Eggs: If something is trying to peck its way out of the shell, the egg is not fresh.
  2. Milk: Milk is spoiled when it looks like yogurt.
  3. Yogurt: Yogurt is spoiled when it looks like cottage cheese.
  4. Cottage Cheese: Cottage Cheese is spoiled when it looks like regular cheese.
  5. Regular Cheese: Regular cheese is basically spoiled milk so really doesn’t spoil. But when your regular cheese begins to look like blue cheese get rid of it anyway.
  6. Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise is spoiled when you have to have your stomach pumped because you became violently ill after eating it.
  7. Meat: If cats gather at your back door whenever you open your meat drawer, the meat is spoiled.
  8. Bread: Bread is spoiled when it attains the ability to cure an infection.
  9. Flour: Flour is spoiled when it has moving rice in it and you didn’t put any rice in it.
  10. Canned Goods: Canned goods are spoiled when they begin to resemble a rugby ball.
  11. Carrots: Carrots are spoiled when they take on the characteristics of a wet rope.
  12. Potatoes: Potatoes are spoiled when they have more eyes than your graduating class. Nor should they have a deep leafy underbrush.
  13. Chip Dip: Dip is spoiled when it doesn’t stay in the same place you put it in the refrigerator.
  14. Wine: Wine is spoiled when it becomes an acceptable base for a salad dressing.
  15. Lettuce: Lettuce is spoiled when its color and consistency can be mistaken for green jello.
  16. Raisins: Raisins are spoiled when they can be mistaken for bituminous coal.

And, why is it that when someone offers us something that obviously smells bad WE ALWAYS SMELL IT?!?  I see this happen all of the time;  someone makes comment similar to “Oh, man that smells nasty!  Here take a whiff!” and someone else leans over smells it and recoils in disgust.  WHY?!?

Okay, I’m done.


One Response to “Does This Smell Okay To You?”

  1. It is an amazing thing. I guess it’s a leftover primate desire to build community, but geez, some things are better left unsmelled.

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