Does This Smell Okay To You?
September 6, 2006
Lifted directly from lifehack.org’s article, “Does This Smell Okay to You?“:
Here is a collection … on how to tell if your food is spoiled.
- Eggs: If something is trying to peck its way out of the shell, the egg is not fresh.
- Milk: Milk is spoiled when it looks like yogurt.
- Yogurt: Yogurt is spoiled when it looks like cottage cheese.
- Cottage Cheese: Cottage Cheese is spoiled when it looks like regular cheese.
- Regular Cheese: Regular cheese is basically spoiled milk so really doesn’t spoil. But when your regular cheese begins to look like blue cheese get rid of it anyway.
- Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise is spoiled when you have to have your stomach pumped because you became violently ill after eating it.
- Meat: If cats gather at your back door whenever you open your meat drawer, the meat is spoiled.
- Bread: Bread is spoiled when it attains the ability to cure an infection.
- Flour: Flour is spoiled when it has moving rice in it and you didn’t put any rice in it.
- Canned Goods: Canned goods are spoiled when they begin to resemble a rugby ball.
- Carrots: Carrots are spoiled when they take on the characteristics of a wet rope.
- Potatoes: Potatoes are spoiled when they have more eyes than your graduating class. Nor should they have a deep leafy underbrush.
- Chip Dip: Dip is spoiled when it doesn’t stay in the same place you put it in the refrigerator.
- Wine: Wine is spoiled when it becomes an acceptable base for a salad dressing.
- Lettuce: Lettuce is spoiled when its color and consistency can be mistaken for green jello.
- Raisins: Raisins are spoiled when they can be mistaken for bituminous coal.
And, why is it that when someone offers us something that obviously smells bad WE ALWAYS SMELL IT?!? I see this happen all of the time; someone makes comment similar to “Oh, man that smells nasty! Here take a whiff!” and someone else leans over smells it and recoils in disgust. WHY?!?
Okay, I’m done.